Music Through Your Phases

"I think I heard you singing, 'Oh poor sky, don't cry on me. Did somebody break your heart again?'"

I am a music person. If I can help it, I try to fill in every moment of my daily life with tunes, doesn't matter if I'm showering, gardening(yeah right), sleeping, writing about how it gets listened to when I do stuff, etc. Music doesn't just represent moods(by that I mean if you're sad or whatever, sad music isn't the only type of music that makes sense), it alters moods. Music is a therapist, wrapped in a super hero cloak, soaked in water from the spring of immortality. It has the power to expose us, and reveal what we typically hide from everybody and everything. Just like driving past the neighborhood you grew up in, a song can transport and beam you through space and time and within a moment place you back on the bike you were riding around the speed bumps with. Decades can pass, everything about you as a person can change, but as soon as the melody hits, smells, states of minds, even weather conditions come flooding back. Music for me now a days is more than just one form of Art, it's a combination of artistic achievements. It's melody, poetry, and since images are conjured up in my head through the two of those together it's even painting and photography. That might sound ridiculous to you, but since image is constructed inside our minds and not our eyes, it's absolutely true.

"I'm coming up only, to hold you under. And coming up only, to show you wrong"

"Hey Love, we will get away with it. We'll run like we're awesome, totally genius... Come, come be my waitress and serve me tonight, serve me the sky tonight."

Unfortunately for me, I have a tendency to exhaust a song I love to the point of pant so often that it stops representing a time and place, and instead crosses over again and again to other times, and other places. Never the less, there are still ship loads of tunes on my itunes who can beam me back. And I love that. Even though so often I hate the nostalgia; pain through the realization that moments were lived but not embraced so intensely that the time travel wouldn't spring up a sense of longing. Everything is always more real when you're in pain, or when you're in bliss, and barring death, there is no pain deeper than heart break, and nothing more blissful than gazing into the eyes of a fawn. Not coincidentally, there are more songs about it than any other topic. Not coincidentally, the rewind to moments when the heart was ok is the most real and painfully intense button songs can press on your stereo system life. We register things subconsciously so often that anticipating future nostalgia is almost impossible. My itunes spits out songs from playlists created for sharing moments of intimacy with no disclaimer about how those songs that defined the beauty, can so easily turn on me to reveal the awfulness of the disappearance of that beauty. Lyrics once understood and defined personally in moments of relevant closeness, morph into daggers immune to shields propelled at the very heart it once sung to caress. I have yet to experience anything else that achieves this feat so efficiently.

"And every time you're driving home, way outside your safety zone, wherever you will ever be, you're never getting rid of me... You own me, there's nothing you can do, you own me"

I guess I should be grateful to feel anything at all. Thankful that I know of poets and painters and photographers who color my world with their crazy brushes. Lucky to have been with someone who took the emotions portrayed by the artists, and showed me how to experience them to their fullest and most rewarding extent. After all, what is a landscape painting if you've never taken walks with someone dear, in the rain and sun, through fields and in between trees?

" You've got your reasons, and me I've got mine. But all the reasons I gave were just lies to buy myself some time"

I encourage you to check out the lyrics, and albums.

The National- All Dolled Up In Straps (Decatur, Frenchman, tiny burgers, I-10) Lyrics, Buy

Band Of Horses- Funeral (Silence, drives, open windows) Lyrics, Buy

The National- Geese Of Beverley Road (All the way, the great, an exclamation) Lyrics(Scroll to), Buy

The National- Lucky You (The first hint of some end) Lyrics(Bottom of page), Buy

Arcade Fire- Ocean Of Noise (Declaration of intimacy, of now, of maybe never again and why, fool myself) Lyrics, Buy

Vids

Band Of Horses- Funeral


The National- Lucky You

The Universe Is Full Of Ants

Don't dial you're friendly neighborhood Terminex representative juuuuuust yet. Unless he's armed with liquids potent enough to travel light years and still be effective, I'm not sure he's gonna be very useful. Actually, since the Universe is infinite, his services would be a voyage in futility. I'm not an advocate of genocide anyway, I'm not even suggesting that a dilema exists that requires any kind of solution, especially one that calls for an exterminator. It's not like I titled this entry "The Universe Is Full Of German Cockroaches". I don't think a single person would have read even this far had I done so. Anywho, stop distracting me! I've got stuff to say, disclaimers are infuriating!

Ants are one of the most fascinating creatures on our planet. They are extremely effecient, and highly adaptive social creatures. They have been here for over 120 million years, evolving from a Wasp acestry, and splitting into apx. 12,000 different species. Virtually every location on earth has ant populations on the thrive, and no creature, not even us, has been able to oust them from their habitats. The best we can do is temporarily expel a group of them, hardly making a dent in their overall number. They are the ONLY other creature on earth, besides us, that has domesticated another species for means of attaining nutrition. Honeypot Ants herd plant lice called "aphids" from locations to location, giving them rich plains to graze on, and drink the excess necture that the aphids don't need for sustinance. They even shelter them from the rain! 2% reduced fat aphid milk anyone? Ant colonies can reach numbers up to 20 million, matching levels we see only in the most populated human cities where, interestingly, we also see miss management on grand scales. Some colonies even have air filteration systems that expell carbon-dyoxcide and cool the halls and chambers of their piles. More than anyhing else, the fact that they can manage all of this, while often times being either totally blind or of poor sight, is nothing short of remarkable. Sentiments about the simularities between these insects and humans are applicable, and have been echoed before. It's tough to live in a major metropolis and not feel like living in an ant colony, busing yourself around driven my scents, contributing with you're specialized skills all for the sake of the colony at the demands of the Queen. Now you might say "Wait, we have a president, a man, a Democracy not a Monarchy!", To which I would reply "Just shut it, will you?".

And it's more than just that. More than just how much we resemble these little guys when were walking up and down busy streets, and the nature and structure of our respective societies. Only a tiny minority of the creatures on earth are "social" creatures, most are sole proprietors. There is a blue print prerequisite for animals that have chosen to work towards mutual benefit. There are roles handed out, leaders established, and new generation regeneration tactics enacting for maximum effect, on and on. But only humans and insects can do it on the scales we see, and the ants have been doing it for a helluva lot longer. So is it more than just a coincidence that we happen to subscribe to a lot of the same fundamentals? I mean, are we not doing almost exactly what the ants are doing, but just on a grander scale? Actually, the ants are way more efficeint at it than we are. Every single one of the ants not only knows precisely what they're supposed to do, but they do it with zero hesitation, and no supervision. I doubt we could ever function the same way, considering our astronomical sense of selfishness. But it all seems contrary to the chaotic nature of nature, that this kind of order exists and crosses species lines. It's almost as if there could be no other way.

The Universe is "Infinite" and "Awesome" in the true sense of those terms, beyond our conception... way beyond. There are approxiamately 400 million stars in our galaxy, The Milky Way, and there are 50 to 60 billion other galaxys out there. Lets let that sink in for a moment before we consider the "possibility" that there could also be an infinite number of Universes as well(there are scientific theories that seem to hint at a possible Multiverse)! Consider also the idea of an infinite world as you scale down to atoms, and atoms of atoms, and... There is an equation that in theory attempts to ball park the number of intelligent, communicatable civilizations in the universe. It's called The Drake Equation, and even though it's not provable at the moment (for various reasons, such as the bias of what we know life to be from only what we have here[anthropic bias], to what constitutes as a civilization, on and on), it does raise the possibility and puts the likelyhood, even with the most conservative numbers plugged into the equation, at a high probability. For me it's no question, the Universe is littered with intelligent life.

It's safe to say that, as advanced and as intelligent as we are, we are nowhere close to even our own human potential, let alone beyond. It's even safe to say that there might not be a limit on intelligence itself, considering the infinite status of the cosmos. And even though ants are in some ways more impressive in their societal management than us, there obviously exists a huge gap, evolutionarily speaking, between humans and all other animals for that matter. And since we're insignificant to the ants, I mean our level of existence is incomprehensable to them, then whos to say we are nothing more than an ant colony to some other, more highly evolved, being? Nothing that happens in our world has any effect on the ants, barring what we intentionally do to them what with magnifiying glasses and all. But even then they could never know the extent of our premeditation, or by which design they are being effected by us, to them it's just the way things are. There is a major disconnect there. And this is just two animals on the same planet.

I believe it to be very plausible that we are of ant-like existence to more intelligent, more highly evolved life that is pulsating within space. All this sounds very sci-fi I know, but if theres been one thing thats been more shocking than anything else from the Tech Revolution, it's the metamophisis a host of science fiction ideas have gone through on their way to science fact (and dude let's not forget LET'S NOT FORGET, that virtually every Alien(ET) sketch we see looks like an ant. Ok that's a bit far fetched but, whatever you can't disagree). In the grand sceme of things, humans are totally insignificant. If the entire history of the universe, 13 billions years worth of it, were to be shrunk down to a 24 hour time frame, all of human existence(100,000 + years) would be no longer than 15 minutes. We're pretty advanced sure, but nowhere near cosmic levels. We've only put our toes in the water.

Think about the idea of being observed in the same manner that you observe lesser creatures. Think about the ant farms sold at retailers, about all the fire ants whos city you destroyed when you got tripped up playing soccer as a youth. Now think about all we don't know about our universe, about what kind of manipulations could be the result of more intelligent life. We are already showing signs of "playing God" by advancing the way we have, for the last 100 years more specifically. We are cloning animals, designing genes, transplanting organs, harnessing the powers of atoms, wind, the Sun. We have only begun manipulating our surrounding environment, and we've only been here a blink of an eye's worth of time. If we go on evolving for another 100,000 years at the blistering speeds of late, how many more sci-fi ideas could become sci-fact? The Universe has been around for 13 billion years, and we know that it is possible for intelligent life to evolve in a matter of a few million cause it happened to us, so...
You know when they say "no matter how fast you run, there's always someone faster"? Well, in an infinite system, there have to be things faster than us, and things faster than them as well.

Some Ant Activity Worth Observing:


Waking Life Excerpt:

Why Poker Explains The World

Please don't post pictures of your detailed poker tattoos along with your crazy retorts. I have no patience for that kind of "look at me, LOOK AT MEEEE" gesture. I don't care if Chris Moneymaker himself sharpied the outline. Matter of fact, this particular topic shall run through your shirt sleeve to relevance itself to your full sleeve "All In" skin etching. There's the credence you were scratching for.

I am attempting to philosophize this activity not because I think that it is inherently relevant, but rather because I think virtually any activity, if looked at under the right kind of fluorescence, can be related to virtually anything. And because I played a few hands of No-Limit last evening... A jump shot could be a metaphor for business, a pedicure one for geology, and even a river dance to the sacrament of marriage(the more you kick with a straight face, the less futile your efforts will seem). Drawing similarities between something as straight(yes, intended) forward as poker, and the engineering that our world is programmed to follow, however, might be a little more complicated. But I am undeterred! So here goes.

I'm All In
I was lucky enough to have certain genes dealt to me at the start of my game. I am taller, faster and generally more physically adapt to play in this world than most, and even some of the "Smart" genes managed to slip through, as unbelievable as that was for some of my acquaintances. Of course I'm also way cool, totally sweet, and thoroughly rad too. So these, and other attributes and haves and have nots factor into your chip pile. Socio-economic status, big toe to index toe ratio, receding hairlines, weird laughing behavior, on and on...Point is this: Buy in is not without it's discriminations. Some get only a few hundred dollars worth of chips, others thousands. There is something very important to understand here, and that is this: Opportunity is proportionately represented by Means.

Your Buy In
We believe this country to be one where your success lies entirely in your hands. Land of opportunity. American Dream. Manifest Destiny. If you don't make it anywhere else, you sure can make it here. There are countless stories of migrants boating it to New York with only fifteen cents in their pocket, seven kids, three wives, a peg-leg and a blind dog and working their way up in some niche industry only a country like America would have a need for, like toe-nail clippers that double as walkie-talkies, starting their own family business, and spending the rest of their time fly-fishing in Colorado, encrusting wooden peg-legs in platinum and diamond. But those are few and far in between. We've all heard the phrase "the rich get richer". Fact is, you can be a C student, prance around citizen obligations, drink excessive amounts of alcohol, lie about doing all of those things, and still be in a position to position yourself to run the country, if you have the family means. How many times have you seem a poker star win the final table after being down in chips with a ratio of 4 or 5 to 1? Very rarely. More chips brings more chip power in your play, including any and all psychological maneuvering you wish to exude. Resorting to betting your entire stack becomes a frequent occurrence just to stay in the game for those holding nothing more than $377 worth.

The Flop
If you are holding pocket Jacks, then you did well in school my friend. You got a degree in Aeronautics, and theres an opening at NASA for a young, fresh face. But just because you got those Jacks hiding away in your pocket, doesn't mean that Jack from the other side of the table won't be able to muscle his way into the pot, or even beat you out with three Kings on the river, he did nothing but throw frat parties the seven years he spent at Uni, but even so, he has enough play potential to push you to the brink. So what do you do? You can't go in too strong before the flop, because then you'll be settling for a measly job at Toys'R'Us as the radio helicopter inspector, making sure there are no propelor injuries. A noble job sure, but one that pays 28,000 a year. At least they have unlimited bandage expenses for your fingers and nose. But If you don't catch another Jack on the turn, then you can't wait for the river to make your move. Kill now! Get to the NASA interview at 7, smell like peaches and lock up the position before other candidates offer sexual favors in zero gravity flights. That's your play.

Big Blind
Every hand at poker is different than the one preceding it, just as every situation and event in life is different, with it's own unique consequences. Each hand represents a moment in the life of you, and me. Some hands can't but suck you in, while others offer a fold as the only viable option. A 2 and a 6 isn't exactly the kind of hand that begs you to ante up, so don't spend money on any Adidas b-ballin sneaks if you only stand 4'9'', and stop waking up at 6, wasting time you could be spending watching cartoons and developing a sense of humor running off to track meets if your dad had a peg leg, and passed off the gene to you. It's all about knowing when to bet. Unfortunately, we'll have to ante up mandatory chips at various moments in the game, so realizing how to cut our losses effectively throughout is key.

Poker Face
It's common knowledge amongst professional poker players that poker accessories like tattoos and bulldogs named Raise are pretty much exclusive to poker novices. No one at the final table at the world championships has a spade nose ring. You never see the big dogs coming. Dudes with Mr. Bubbles t-shirts and acid washed jeans are the ones one needs to fear, not Boozer with his Harley Davidson shades and 3 foot long goatee. If you want to know who's going to be managing a Jamba Juice in 7 years, just look at the guy who's getting piggie back rides from the lacrosse team through the cafeteria. It's no secret that the nerds of yesterday are the bosses of today. You can't expect to advance to any higher table without knowing and understanding your opponents. Who we are is not who we seem to be. There are crucial moments when we crack through the mask and show a true image, and if you're not looking, you will miss it. One look at someone on a roll who starts broadcasting his/her ego to the table can tell you more about their character than years of association.

Cash In
You will never beat the house. There's no pessimism in that sentiment. All it is is a way to get you to know what a winning experience at the tables is. Be happy if you walk away on the win, kids in college and a wife that can cook up a storm in the kitchen AND the room of beds. You don't need to be the world champion to win the game. The aspiration drives us sure, but keep things in perspective.
Maybe poker's not even your game. Maybe you prefer the slots. In that case, be a hippie communist scum. Just don't give dreads to my kid unless I ask.

Danceeeng!